• Liza Young, LPC

Is My Partner Really Changing?


The 7 A’s of Change


The following should help you assess whether your partner is truly changing.


(This is specific to abusers, narcissists, and the unfaithful. But could be used in other instances as well.)


1. Admits responsibility and does not minimize or blame.

2. Acknowledges the hurt that they caused.

3. Apologizes for that hurt with true remorse.

4. Abuse stops, if any.

5. Attitudes towards women and relationships become healthy.

6. Actively gets consistent, long-term therapy.

7. Accountability consistently with someone other than you.


Without empathy these steps can be hard if not impossible. Thankfully, empathy can be taught through consistent therapy.


You'll notice changes in communication, no more excuses or blaming, able to identify specifics such as abusive tactics and entitlement, etc.


If there are narcissistic traits this could make it harder for true, lasting change to take place due to their belief that they are not in the wrong and they don’t need to change anything.


I hear "he's really changing" and I ask, “changing to keep you close or changing to love you as Christ loves us?” There’s a big difference. (Ephesians 5:25)


For further help in your journey please call for an appointment, 601-517-7854.

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